Susan Schneider’s Blog

Naked as a Jaybird

Well, yesterday was a big day for me. Yesterday was the one day each year that I stand in front of all my employees and review my performance over the past 12 months. Just like last year, I was shivering with vulnerability... literally. I have to wonder, why in the world do I continue to risk getting up in front of everyone to share my shortcomings for all to hear and perhaps judge?

I’ll be honest, it would be so much easier to just share the highlights and sweep the not-so-great stuff under the rug, but then, what kind of leader would I really be? An emperor with no clothes comes to mind.

I had to look up the saying "naked as a jaybird" to make sure it wasn’t some old English phrase that is now totally offensive. Thankfully, it’s not. Turns out that it really has nothing to do with the jaybird specifically and can mean completely unclothed. Common agreement is that it simply means “being vulnerable.”

Unfortunately, we now live in a world, or perhaps we just have greater exposure to a business environment, that includes leaders who choose their own needs over those that work for them. They operate with little to no integrity and have forgotten the true meaning of leadership. However, I choose to believe that this represents the minority, not the majority.

This should cause the rest of us to become even more transparent about who we are and how we are performing. It requires all of us to literally go out on a limb… and be a jaybird.

When Your Butt is on the Line

It is a little embarrassing to admit that this past Super Bowl was an inaugural event for me; I actually watched the entire thing. Believe me, I had no intention of gluing myself to the couch all evening, but I was sucked in at the prospect of seeing the greatest million-dollar commercial ever made. As I watched and waited for the ad that never was, I found myself getting really into the actual football game, especially the last minute.

As a newbie to football, I still don’t understand a majority of the rules or the strategy. I do find it a bit interesting, however, that not much happens in the first three quarters of the game. Then, when there are a few minutes left on the clock, the “real” game begins. In that brief time, the scoreboard lights up like the 4th of July.

Okay, so the game was entertaining, but there is one play that really had an impact on me and has carried with me since it occurred in the last minute. One of the players (no idea of name or position) runs to the one-yard line, accidently falls into the end zone and scores the touchdown that will ultimately win the game. At that moment, I expected the announcers to declare the winner of the game, but no… instead, they focused on how a mistake like that, at that moment, could cost the Giants the game. The player sat on the bench with his head in his hands, kicking himself for scoring.

So, we all know how the game ended and as I said, I have a lot to learn, but I did walk away with a good life lesson…

“Sometimes, when we are operating at our finest, we may still fall on our butts on the way to victory.”

Seven Simple Steps

For the past few posts, I’ve been focusing on problem resolution. This may seem less uplifting than some subjects, but learning to navigate through this area has made a world of difference in my life. I am hoping these concluding thoughts will be helpful for you as well.

In my old way of solving problems, I used to jump right into the "how" instead of taking time to get understanding around “what” the problem was exactly and “why” it had occurred. Using the following seven steps has helped me to slow down, and more importantly, step back so that I can not only solve it, but resolve it as well!

1. Stop and Pause. While it looks simple, this can be very difficult if our emotions are not in check.
   
2. Diffuse the Situation. It may help to start the conversation by asking, “I can tell you are upset, is this still a good time to talk?” This allows the other person an opportunity to take an emotional check as well.
   
3. Seek Clarification. Even if you think you know all of the facts, ask again. In other words, assume nothing!
   
4. Sympathize, Not Empathize. Rule of thumb: you can feel for the person, but not necessarily with the person.
5. Commit to Your Next Step. Tell the person what you plan to do to fix the situation. If necessary, share what you are going to do to gather more information.
6. Follow-Up. This step is often overlooked, yet can be incredibly insightful. Some of the best constructive feedback occurs in this conversation when the problem is resolved and emotions are diffused.
7. Learn and Apply. Many times, we treat a problem as a unique situation. It may actually have a pattern that can be fixed for the future.

Finally, just remember that within every problem lies a great opportunity. Most people are trying to do the right thing, but make mistakes along the way. The hidden opportunity may be your chance to prove that you are trustworthy, dependable, and deliver on what you promise.

How to Prepare for a Hurricane

Last week, I started a series of blogs on conquering service problems. To get caught up, take a look at last week's post, and then join me for this week's continuation.

Did you know that 96% of people who are dissatisfied with the service they receive will never outwardly complain? I was actually surprised to hear this. Then again, there has been a time or two when I received poor restaurant service, but didn’t really feel like doing anything about it. However, I bet that if the server would have been paying attention, I gave off plenty of cues to let them know I was less than satisfied.

While many will not complain directly to the person delivering the service, 100% of people are completely comfortable telling others about their mishap. Therefore, all we can do is rely on our own instincts to look for the warning signs that a hurricane may be on the horizon. Of course, you add in the element of communication through email and text and our insight has to be taken to a whole new dimension (think ESP).

But, since we cannot read minds, we are forced to rely on a key words or phrases that may point to a future problem. My ears perk up to responses such as “whatever,” “fine,” or “I suppose so.” Worse yet, how about the extended periods of silence and the all-time avoidance of voicemails left in the middle of the night?

It is important not to be an alarmist, as these responses may mean nothing at all. The key to preparing for a problem is not reacting to each response individually, but watching to see if there is a pattern to the communication. It is when we are certain there is a pattern that we need to begin to take action. Hopefully, it can be as simple as a phone call to assess the situation. If the warning signs were not caught soon enough, it may require a resolution plan.

Did you know that after a service or communication failure, 70% of people will come back again if the problem is resolved? That number spikes to 95% if the problem is resolved quickly! Stay tuned next week for the Seven Steps to Resolution!

Tsunami or Hurricane

I believe that problems are categorized in two ways: either as a tsunami or a hurricane. A tsunami thrashes with little warning, while the hurricane brews long enough to send you signs that you should see coming a mile away. I’ve had my share of both.

An example of a tsunami problem was when I backed out of my garage, but forgot to shut the passenger door (the sound of metal against metal is something I never need to hear again). A hurricane problem was when, after ignoring the dozen or so notices in the mail, I still managed to forget to register my son for kindergarten.

The tsunami was unavoidable, because I honestly didn’t know the car door was open. But since I had time to avoid the brunt of the hurricane when I missed my son's enrollment, I pleaded and promised to work at the school carnival for the next decade to make up for my error. This was like boarding up the windows with cardboard boxes... it wasn’t pretty, yet in this case, it worked.

My analogy may seem like a bit of an over simplification of categorizing problems. However, I am finding that identifying the warning time against the preparation time helps me to logically think through the next steps. Is this problem a tsunami that was beyond my control, or is it a hurricane that resulted from my complacency with the warning signs?

In the tsunami scenario, we might have time to prepare, yet it is calculated in minutes, not hours or days. We run as fast as possible, and it requires acceptance of what is to come and preparation for the aftermath.

The hurricane scenario is vastly different. The warning signs are clear and visible to those paying attention. What might start as an irritated stirring in the waters grows ever so quickly. The temperatures rise and other factors begin to create a momentum that if not stopped, could wreak havoc upon landfall. The good news with a hurricane is that even with its intensity, if we know the signs and have appreciation for its potential, we can begin to prepare ourselves in advance.

I would love nothing more than to talk through the steps of hurricane preparation, but unfortunately, I have gone well beyond my allotted word limit for the week. So, you are just going to have to hang on to your buoys until next week when I share my thoughts on how to get through the hurricane!

Where is the Finish Line?

Thanks to my nephew, who is becoming a certified personal trainer, and my daughter, who can’t bear to watch my arms jiggle back and forth while blow-drying my hair, I have decided to get in shape. Gone are the days when I can mindlessly run on the treadmill like a gerbil in an exercise wheel and call it a workout. Now, I am forced to use those machines on the other side of the gym that honestly require a master’s degree to adjust.

So, I am now an official member of the New Year’s Resolutionists (my new word) who have become determined to do something better for themselves and secretly hope it will all take shape by February. I have to say that I rather enjoyed my first few visits to the gym, with my nephew kindly encouraging me to keep pressing on. Now, it is just me in a sea of machines with no cheerleaders, and the excitement is gone.

As I struggle to finish my third set of reps and the twenty-two year old beside me is barely breaking a sweat, I have to wonder why I am doing this at all. And then of course, it dawns on me (I hate it when that happens). I have no vision for what I am trying to achieve. The finish line is out of sight and I have no idea what success will look like when I get there.

Like so many things we start with great enthusiasm, we forget that we need to set goals. Often it seems that we set the goal too high and then feel disappointed when we never reach the finish line. I for one, have to set small goals and in some cases, those goals might be set weekly.

As it relates to setting goals for getting in shape, it may be as simple as less jiggle by June or maybe even my three-days a week goal through March. Honestly, right now my only goal is to tone up my abs so I can actually get out of bed in the morning without rolling onto the floor!

Are you Asking or Telling?

It’s taken me years to learn that if I need someone to do something, I have to come right out and tell them what I need rather than beating around the bush. Simple example: If I ask my kids if they want to clean their rooms, do I really care what their answer is? Their answer should be yes, and if it isn’t, then I just tell them to do it anyway. In this scenario, not only did I set the expectation that they actually had a choice in the matter, but then for some odd reason, I am surprised when their answer is "No" (I said I was still learning).

While the example about my kids is pretty simple, this dynamic can have a significant impact in other areas of our life and our relationships. You don’t have to spend much time in a workplace before you stumble upon multiple examples of the “asking versus telling” scenario. The truth is, most of us would rather get other’s buy-in rather than telling them what to do. We want to be viewed as caring and flexible by others, and in many cases, we can. However, there are certain times when our requests are non-negotiable. This is where lack of clarity in our communication not only wastes time, but can create disappointment for both parties.

Maybe today’s post is only intended for those of us who live in the Midwest or are of Scandinavian bloodlines. I doubt it, because while I live in Minnesota, I am not necessarily the poster child for “Minnesota Nice". I think we all need a reminder to think about how we communicate and ask for what we need. It may sometimes feel too direct, yet often has a better outcome for everyone.

2012 Predicted to Be an Incredible Year

Did you hear the good news? 2012 is expected to be one of the best years in the past decade. Unemployment rates will drop considerably, the housing market will see positive growth across the nation, gas prices will stay well below four dollars a gallon, schools will finally receive the necessary funding to lower classroom sizes, the government will come to agreeable terms to improve the economy, and people’s overall health and happiness will see significant improvement.

Okay, so you are probably thinking that I have had a little too much holiday cheer and I haven’t taken the train home from La-La Land. I agree this just may be a bit overblown with optimism. Yet, what if it were all true and I had the facts to prove it? Would you live the next year differently? My guess is that the answer is, "Yes!"

It’s nearly impossible to turn on a T.V., peruse the Internet, or read the paper and not find a headline that tells us the outlook on the new year, and most of it isn’t so positive. Some economists tell us that things will pick up the second half of the year, some say the recovery won’t happen for at least another year, and still others are even more pessimistic and will say we have some rough times ahead. As much as we would like to turn a blind eye to their opinions, some of it will stick with us and impact our thinking.

Is what they say true? Maybe. Is there anything you can single handedly do to change it? No. Do they take the time to blend in some really great things that are happening all around us every day that should make us stop and count our blessings? I doubt it.

The truth is, we can’t predict the future, but we can decide how to approach it. My approach for 2012 is to rely on faith that all will work out the way it is intended rather than fear of all that could go wrong. I hope you choose the same.

In Letterman Style

As I sit down to write my final blog of the calendar year, I find myself hoping that maybe, just maybe, I will pen the ultimate post of inspiration - a true masterpiece for life - and bring an ideal close to another year. One would think after five years I might realize this isn’t going to happen, and that a looming deadline will have me once again relying on the good ‘ol Letterman Top 10 to wrap up the year.  So, I grabbed a couple of loyal friends and came to a consensus on the themes we thought would be great to bring into 2012. And here they are:

10.  O.H.I.O. – Only Handle It Once – one of the best tips I’ve received and it has been a prominent theme in my life.  No sense putting off the little stuff, just get it done now!

9.    Lamenting the Door – Helen Keller said it best, “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one, which has been opened for us.”

8.    If You Don’t Ask for It, Don’t Expect It and as a followup, Just Because You Ask for It, Don’t Expect It – the titles say it all – sometimes we need to get our “expectors” in line.

7.    Set Your Internal Egg Timer – if we don’t set time limits on processing difficult situations or ruminating on events of the past, we could spend a lot of time with no change in the outcome.  Personally, I think 30 minutes is best.

6.    Too Much Emphasis on the “I” – God will not give you more than you can handle, but often, it isn’t us that is given the strength. Sometimes that strength comes from those around us.  Don’t be afraid to accept their help.

5.    I Know, I Know, I Know – just because we know we ought to do something doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t be held accountable.  Maybe it’s time to actually put our knowledge into action.

4.    Be a Blessing Everyday – it is easy to get caught up in our own needs, but making a conscious effort each day to bless someone else will always bring you favor in spades.

3.    The 21-Day R&R Challenge – sorry, not rest and relaxation. This is about intentionally removing resentments and regrets from your life. Easier said than done!

2.    Teach ‘em to Fish – it’s a lot better to invest the time up front to teach someone to stand on their own.  It is proven to remove the “why do I always have to do everything?” saying from your vocabulary.

1.    The “So What” Holiday – not just for Christmas anymore. This also works well for many events in our lives where we get so wrapped up in the details that we forget to have a good time.

As always, I want to wish all of you a Happy New Year and hope nothing but blessings, good fortune, and health to all my loyal readers.  Until next year…

Have a "So What" Holiday Season!

Do I mean “so what” to the reason for the season? No Way! Do I mean “so what” to being caught up in the silly little details that we think are so important, yet take us away from actually enjoying the season? Yes, indeed!

I am the first to admit I’m a bit of a holiday junkie. I love driving around the streets, gazing at the Christmas lights and even find myself a bit envious of the Griswold-ish neighbors that have the guts to turn their yard into a circus show. I sing holiday tunes at the top of my lungs from Thanksgiving to New Years and I believe that Christmas cookies are deserving of the fifth slot in the pyramid food group.

Yet, even with all of the joy during this time of year, I have to try to remember that the details don’t matter. All the really important things will be missed if I am too busy to enjoy them. Therefore, I am officially instituting the “so what” motto for the season:

• “So what” if the guests are running late – take that time to put your feet up
• “So what” if you don’t have string to tie up the turkey – that’s what kites are for
• “So what” if you couldn’t find the perfect gift – is there such a thing?
• "So what" if someone brings dessert instead of dinner rolls – most people like the sweets best anyway

And, if the food burns, the tree topples over, the flight is cancelled, the gravy is lumpy or you find yourself surrounded by Scrooge... just remember to say to yourself “so what”.

So, I wish you a "so what" holiday season! My greatest wish for everyone is a time of peace, of reflection on those who have so little and would give anything for our “so what” problems, and for a time to appreciate the things that matter most; our family, our friends and our freedom. God Bless!